Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Nobody is Perfect

When was the last time you thanked your spouse for just being them? When was the last time you bought them a special gift, just because you love and appreciate them? When was the last time you showed your love and appreciation for them in any way?

This is something that I'm admittedly bad at. I'm not good at showing affection, or even using my words when I'm face to face. I'm much better at that stuff in writing.  That being said, I do try to make an effort to make Trevon feel like I'm happy he's in my life and like he's loved and appreciated.

This weekend I heard a quote from Elder Robert D Hales, a leader in our church, he said "None of us marry perfection, we marry potential."  I loved this quote because there are so many different aspects to it.  Not only does it remind us that we will never find a "perfect" person to marry, we should find someone who makes us happy and who can grow with us. Because while no one is perfect, everyone has potential.

 But what this quote meant to me is that neither Trevon, nor I am perfect. And because we are not perfect, we need to work at not being so critical towards each other. Whether that means in our thoughts, actions or the words that we say.

I know that after six years of marriage, I love Trevon more than I ever did. But sometimes, when dishes are left in the sink, clothes are left on the floor, and I feel overwhelmed with the kids, it's easy for me to start to criticize little habits.  It's easy to blame him for the frustration I feel. It's easy to be mad or annoyed rather than just be willing to do a little extra work and remember all the good things Trevon does for our family.

Can anyone else relate?  I mean, when was the last time that your husband left his dirty dishes in the sink, the garbage can full, and dirty clothes on the bedroom floor and you though "I sure love that guy! He's such a great worker."  It's a struggle for me. I usually roll my eyes, sigh and think "Is it really that hard to put the dishes in the sink?  He was walking out the door anyway, he couldn't just take a second to take the trash with him?  The clothes basket is less than a foot away, he couldn't take one more step to throw the dirty clothes in there?"

The fact is that we, as wives, have little habits that annoy our husbands, no doubt.  I know that it drives Trevon nuts when I don't have my phone on me (or off silent) because if he calls me and I don't answer, he starts to worry something is wrong. But I still sometimes keep it in the other room and I almost always have it on silent.
I'm not perfect. None of us are.

The whole reason we are here, on this earth is to become better people. Become more like God. To become perfect.  None of us come to this earth already there.

So, after hearing this quote, I decided to try to make more of an effort to show and to tell Trevon that I appreciate him. Instead of griping every time the kitchen is left in a mess or the table isn't wiped off, I am going to work on doing the chore with out thinking. Just get it done with out putting blame on someone.  And when I do start to blame him for not taking the garbage out, I'll remind myself that Trevon is a hard worker. He does a lot of things for our family everyday. Whether they are around the house or at work so that we can have the money we need to provide, he works hard.

So, when was the last time you griped about something that your spouse did or didn't do? When was the last time you tried to forget about it and move on with your day?


  1. I saw this quote again in the last couple weeks and it really made me think. We humans sure have a lot to learn, don't we?

  2. Oh, I've been working on this too. It's easy when you're totally overwhelmed by life to be critical.